PARENTING       

An emotional outburst of anger and frustration, a tantrum isn’t a pretty sight. In addition to kicking, screaming, or pounding the floor, your preschooler’s hissy fit may include throwing things, hitting, or even holding his breath until he turns blue.

Tantrums are normal and common, especially with 2- and 3-year-olds. Take heart – they typically occur much less frequently by age 4.

Emotional triggers: The most likely reason for a temper tantrum is that your 2- or 3-year-old is feeling overwhelmed emotionally. Toddlers and preschoolers have all of the big emotions – good and bad – that adults do, but they don’t yet have the ability to understand and manage them. Those parts of the brain haven’t developed yet.

Tantrums happen when feelings such as frustration, fear, or rejection are too much for your little one to cope with on their own. A tantrum can also be caused by something that’s been bothering your child over time.

Physical triggers: Fatigue, hunger, and discomfort are frequent tantrum triggers.

Reinforced behavior: Depending on how you respond, your child may learn that throwing a tantrum is a way to get what she wants. (

How to handle your child’s temper tantrums

Over time, you can teach your child how to express feelings in appropriate ways. In the meanwhile, try these strategies:

• Distract your child. This works better before he’s in full tantrum mode. You might offer him a chance to do something he likes when you see his frustration mounting.
• Talk softly and soothingly. The tone of your voice can help calm your child. Keep your words simple: “I see how upset you are. I’m here to help you calm down.”  
• Stay with your child. The storm of emotion your child is feeling can be frightening to him, and he needs to know you’re nearby. Leaving the room can make him feel abandoned.
• Offer physical comfort. Quietly go to your child. If he’s not flailing too much, pick him up and hold him. Chances are he’ll find your embrace comforting and will calm down more quickly.
• Empathize. Teach your child coping skills by validating how hard it is to feel negative emotions like disappointment, anger, or sadness. You could say, “I know you’re disappointed because you really wanted to go to the park, but it’s raining too hard. Here, let’s play inside with this puzzle instead.”
• Prioritize safety. If your preschooler’s outburst escalates to the point where he’s hitting people or pets, throwing things, or screaming nonstop, pick him up and carry him to a safe place, where he can’t harm himself, others, or things.

When to ignore a tantrum?

If your child is having a tantrum because she doesn’t want to do what you’ve asked of her or you’ve said no to something, calmly acknowledge that you can see she’s having a hard time and doesn’t like what you said. Then continue to go about your business if possible.

What not to do when your child has a tantrum

• Don’t lose your cool. No matter how infuriating you find your child’s behavior, remember that you’re the adult. Don’t yell at, mimic, or threaten your child. A tantrum is frightening enough without your child feeling that you’re not in control.
• Don’t try to reason with your child. In the midst of a meltdown, your child is unable to listen to, much less understand, reason. His brain simply will not be able to process logic.
• Don’t tell her that she’s overreacting. Telling him that he shouldn’t be upset isn’t helpful. Instead, let him know you understand that he’s upset.
• Don’t burden your child. Don’t tell your child that his tantrum is making you sad or angry. Your child doesn’t need that responsibility, and you shouldn’t give him that power.

What to do if your toddler has a tantrum in public

• Remove her from the situation. Pick up your child and take her to a safe space. If you can’t because she’s flailing too much, clear space around her and remove any potentially dangerous items that she could throw, hit, or kick.
• Keep those around her safe. Separate your child from other children, for example, at the park or on a playdate. If she’s biting or hitting, be very firm about that being unacceptable. Be clear that hurting others, including you, is never okay.
• Don’t give in to quiet your child. It’s especially tempting when your child has a temper tantrum in public to cave in as a way of ending the episode. No matter how long the tantrum goes on, don’t give in to unreasonable demands or try to bribe or negotiate with your screaming child. Conceding teaches your child that pitching a fit is the way to get what she wants and sets the stage for future behavior problems.
• SOURCEhttps://www.babycenter.com/child/behavior/tantrums-why-they-happen-and-how-to-handle-them_63649