Procrastination ranks high on the list of things that can’t be avoided in life. We all procrastinate at some point, but some people struggle with it more than others, to the point where it affects their lives and happiness.
Perhaps you’ve been promising yourself for a long time that you’ll write a book or complete some other creative project, but years have passed, and it’s still not done. Or maybe you’re in the habit of putting off big assignments and work tasks, and despite eventually getting them done at the last minute, you’re constantly stressed out and your work isn’t as good as it could be.
A leading psychologist, Nick Wignall, notes that the core cause of chronic procrastination is not what most people imagine. Poor concentration, difficulty focusing, bad time management skills, low self-discipline, lack of willpower – all these factors play a role in procrastination, but at the root of each of them is one underlying deficit: a failure to manage difficult emotions.
For instance, trouble concentrating is usually a result of difficulty managing the excitement of a distracting object (physical or mental) or the fear of missing out on something more exciting. Poor time management skills are usually a result of difficulty tolerating the disappointment of saying no to some things so that you can say yes to what really matters. Every struggle with procrastination is due to a difficult emotion being poorly handled.
Here is what Wignall says about procrastination and overcoming the problem.
Most people see procrastination as an undesirable thing that happens to them. Instead, it’s better to consider it a defence mechanism against feeling bad. Suppose you sit down to write an email you’ve been avoiding for a while. You open your email app, watch the cursor blink a few times, and then quickly check your phone to see if you have any new notifications on Instagram. Fifteen minutes later, you realize you’ve been procrastinating on that difficult email again, feel ashamed, and then tell yourself you’ll do it tomorrow “for sure.” That’s how procrastination seems to work, but here’s what’s going on behind the scenes: you sit down to write an email you’ve been avoiding for a while (because you’re scared of how the person you’re sending it to might respond). You open your email app (imagine how upset the person will get and start to feel even more anxious), watch the cursor blink a few times (imagine how uncomfortable future interactions with this person will be after you send your strongly worded email and feel even more anxious), then quickly check your phone to see if you have any new notifications on Instagram (as a way to escape all that anxiety you’re feeling).
Although the details of how this works will vary depending on your specific circumstances, the general formula is consistent across nearly all instances of procrastination: think about working →, feel bad emotionally, → procrastinate as a way to avoid having to feel bad. Once you learn to see this pattern, you won’t be able to unsee it.
To stop procrastinating so much, you have to manage your emotions better. However, to manage your emotions better, you have to get better at noticing them in the first place. So, the next time you find yourself procrastinating, ask yourself one simple question: what emotions am I feeling right now? Then, jot them down briefly on a piece of paper. This may seem simplistic at first glance, but if you’re a chronic procrastinator, you’re, by definition, in the habit of avoiding your emotions, which means your emotional self-awareness in these circumstances is low. Simply acknowledging and naming those emotions is the essential first step in being able to manage them effectively. “You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously.” – J Do.
Reference: thefriendlymind.com
