Serious techniques are based on well-established principles from psychology and behavioural science.
- Choose a Goal, but Commit to a Routine
Here’s the single most important thing you need to know when it comes to setting good New Year’s goals and actually sticking with them:
You can’t do a goal. You can only do actions that eventually lead you to your goal.
Think about it…
· You can’t just lose 20 pounds. But you can commit to not taking a second helping at dinner each night which will eventually result in losing weight.
· You can’t just write a novel. But you can commit to writing 300 words every morning which will eventually lead to getting a novel written.
· You can’t just improve your relationship with your spouse. But you can commit to saying I love you each morning before you leave for work which will actually change the nature of your relationship.
This distinction between goals and the routines that lead to them is crucial for many reasons. But here’s the most important one:
Thinking about your goals is a great way to procrastinate on the actions that will actually lead you to your goal.
For example:
Thinking about which gym you want to join, researching jogging shoes, and watching inspiring YouTube videos of people who have lost tons of weight feels like work.
But it doesn’t actually move the needle much in terms of losing weight. And worse, it takes time and energy away from the actions and routines that will actually move you toward your goal:
· Running on the treadmill 3 times a week
· Walking around the block every evening after work
· Scheduling grocery shopping twice a week so you never “need” to eat out
· Etc.
When it comes to New Year’s goals take a “set it and forget it” approach so you can stay focused on the real work of building good routines—the only things that actually lead to goals being met (and maintained!) in the long run.
- Pick Goals You Actually Enjoy Working Toward
You would think this one would be obvious…
It’s a lot easier to achieve your New Year’s goal if it’s something you at least kinda enjoy!
Unfortunately, many of us aren’t very creative about our New Year’s goals and end up choosing goals based primarily on what we think we have to do rather than what we want to do.
If there’s one theme that stands out among the people who actually stick with and accomplish their goals it’s that they figure out a way to make them enjoyable.
Only intrinsic motivation lasts in the long run.
So be smart and creative about choosing goals where there’s at least some amount of enjoyment in the process leading up to them.
- Align Your Goals with Your Values
Sticking with New Year’s goals is a tug-o-war between your aspirations and your feelings:
· You aspire to start going to the gym after work, but you feel like watching Netflix.
· You aspire to practice the guitar, but you feel like browsing Facebook instead.
· You aspire to be more patient with your kids, but you feel like yelling at them.
I use the tug-o-war metaphor because this is how motivation actually works: Your long-term aspirations are to move in one direction but your short-term feelings and desires pull you in another.
And while there are plenty of tips and tricks for resisting the pull of short-term desires, the better approach is to strengthen the motivating force of your aspirations.
I mean, think about it:
Wouldn’t it be nicer if your goals and aspirations pulled you toward them instead of feeling like you have to push yourself toward your goals all the time?
Sticking with challenging goals and aspirations is unlikely to ever be easy. But you can make it a lot less hard on yourself by increasing their motivational pull. Align your goals with your values. Values are your guiding principles—the why behind the goals.
For example:
· Your goal is to lose 20 pounds. Your value is being healthy.
· Your goal is to write a novel. Your value is expressing your creativity.
· Your goal is to be more honest with your partner. Your value is honesty.
When you clarify the values behind your goals, you give yourself a booster shot of motivation.
- Use a Ulysses Pact to Resist Temptation
The Ulysses Pact is an old technique for holding yourself accountable to stick with a goal even when it’s hard.
Named for the clever hero of the Trojan War, a Ulysses Pact simply means making a choice in the present (when temptation is low) that binds you to action in the future (when temptation is strong).
For Example, let’s say you want to start eating more healthy foods. A relatively simple example of the Ulysses Pact might be to only go grocery shopping in the morning after breakfast (so you’re not hungry) and to only buy healthy foods at the grocery store. The idea is that if you simply don’t have junk food in the house, it’s easier to eat healthily. After all, the best way to resist temptation is to just avoid it altogether.
The Ulysses Pact—or commitment device, as it’s sometimes called—is a simple way to maintain motivation when things get tough by “locking in” your behavior ahead of time.
- Avoid Other People’s New Year’s Goals
Well, it’s worth pointing out that one of the biggest reasons people lose steam with their New Year’s goals is that they aren’t really their goals at all. And as a result, their motivation can’t be sustained very long.
“peer pressure” isn’t just something we experience in middle school and high school and then put safely behind us once we’re mature, intelligent adults. Far from it, in fact…Social pressure impacts far more of your life decisions than you likely realize. Your decisions are often subtly but powerfully influenced by other people and what they think.
Sometimes this might mean literally avoiding entire categories of goals and choosing different ones. When you personalize your New Year’s goals, you boost your intrinsic motivation, which is the key ingredient to sustainable routines and practices and the long-term goals they’re designed to lead you to.
- Anticipate Obstacles (and Make a Plan for Them)
Read more here https://nickwignall.com/new-years-goals/
